Cards Demonstrated by the three kingdoms
by Reika Itsumi
Summary: Who said that they didn't have cards back then? Just a few of the warriors who know how to play cards in the three kingdoms...and they demonstrate it! Who knows who will win each game? ONE LAST CHAPTER COMING SOON
1. Wei shows us Tonk aka 31

Hey guys! I know I haven't done anything in a while, so here is my recent update...

(Sima Yi is sitting in a chair reading war stratagies, Xiahou Dun is lying back iin another chair and Zhang He is wandering around doing different dance moves.)

Sima Yi: OKAY! Zhang he! Stop dancing! It's annoying me... go do something else or dance somewhere else.

Zhang He: But, Loard Sima Yi, this is the biggest room we have and I need my room so I can practice my skills.

Sima Yi: Whatever...I hate you.

Xiahou Dun: I've got an idea...how bout you go into the room next door and find something to do there...

Zhang He:...That's a good idea.

Xiahou Dun: (Zhang He leaves)...why does it have to be so boring in Wei? We need some action or something.

(Zhang He comes back)

Sima Yi: You're back? Why!

Zhang He: Do any of you know a card game?

Xiahou Dun: Yeah...hey, you know what? That actually sound like fun. Finally there is something to do at last!

Sima Yi: Well, I'm already doing some thing...

Xiahou Dun: Some thing that is boring.

Zhang He: What game do you know?

Xiahou Dun: I only know of one game...it's called thirty-one.

Sima Yi: ...I've played that game before.

Zhang He: (thinks for a minuet) Oh! That game is fun!

Xiahou Dun: I'm the best at it though. None has ever beat me.

Sima Yi: Probably because you cheat.

Xiahou Dun: How can you cheat in a game like this?

Sima Yi: easy...you just might arrang the cards differently. I bet I could beat you easily...without cheating.

Xiahou Dun: Sure...lets see what kind of luck you've got.

Zhang He:...I still get to play, right?

Xiahou Dun:...yeah. (aside to Sima Yi) We'll beat him for sure.

Sima Yi: I know.

Zhang He: Let's get started then. Who's going to shuffle and deal?

Sima Yi & Xiahou Dun: You are.

Zhang He: ...Okay!

(He passes three cards to Sima Yi and Xiahou Dun)

Sima Yi: Wow...I have a pretty good hand.

Xiahou Dun: GOD! My hand sucks!

Zhang He:...

(Zhang He takes a card off the top of the deck and places it face up on the table.)

Sima Yi: It's my turn first...

Xiahou Dun: Dang! that's the card I need on the table!...

Sima Yi:...idiot.

Xiahou Dun: Are you going to play or not?

(Sima draws a card from the deck)

Sima Yi: well, this doesn't help me at all.

(places the card on the table. Xiahou Dun's turn. He draws)

Xiahou Dun: My luck is rising...I'll beat you for sure.

(Puts card into his hand and discards another card.)

Zhang He:...My turn

(He draws a card and puts it into his hand as well as discarding another card.)

Zhang He: thirty-one!

Sima Yi & Xiahou Dun: WHAT?

Sima Yi: Already! That's impossible.

Xiahou Dun: Yeah. It's not right. Show us your cards...

(Zhang He lays down an ace of diamonds and a king and queesn of diamonds.)

Zhang He: Ta-da!

(Sima Yi and Xiahou Dun look at eachother and then back at Zhang He.)

Sima Yi: What a fluke. That was pure luck.

Xiahou Dun: Sure. I actually have to agree with you this time.

Zhang He: Sima Yi's turn to deal!

(Sima Yi deals)

Xiahou Dun: Ooooooo...

Sima Yi: Decent...

(They both look upat Zhang He)

Zhang He: ...hmmmm...

Sima Yi: Ha! I told you it was a fluke...

Zhang He: No...it's not that...I am just trying to decide which suit to go for...

Xiahou Dun: (Aside to Sima Yi) Know what I've noticed that He hasn't said anything that he would normally say...

Sima Yi:...your right...there's something suspicious about him right now.

Zhang He: Xiahou Dun...it's your turn.

Xiahou Dun: Oh...right.

(Draws and puts the card into his hand.)

Zhang He: (draws a card) This just makes my decidion tougher...

Sima Yi: Hurry up already!

(Zhang He puts down an ace of spades)

Sima Yi: Ahh! Just what I needed. (picks up the card) Thirty one.

Zhang He: Beautiful!

Xiahou Dun: Well, forget what I said earlier...

Sima Yi: ...Where did that come from anyway?

Zhang He: Congradulations Lord Sima Yi!

Sima Yi: Uhhhh...sure...

Xiahou Dun: My turn to deal...

Sima Yi: hey, you haven't won a game yet! How does it feel to be a loser? HAHAHAHAHA!

Xiahou Dun: You wanna say that again!

Sima Yi: It would be my pleasure.

Zhang He: Sit down and lets start playing again...

Xiahou Dun: This time I'll beat you!

Sima Yi: Just try me.

(Xiahou Dun passes out the cards)

Xiahou Dun:...this is the last game that I'm playing and if I don't win then...

Sima Yi: You'll be torture by me for the rest of your time.

(Zhang He shakes his head)

Xiahou Dun: (Draws a card) well, this helps.

Zhang He: (draws a card) This is good to add to my hand.

Sima Yi: (draws a card) ...well this card is stupid.

Xiahou Dun: I'm knocking.

Sima Yi: What?

Zhang He: That means...only one more turn...oh my.

Sima Yi: (Draws a card) Rats!

Zhang He: (Draws a card) sigh I tried.

Xiahou Dun: (Lays down hand) Thirty!

Sima Yi: Twenty-nine! I was so close! I hate you.

Xiahou Dun: Hey! you only say that to Zhang He!

Sima Yi: Well, now I'm going to say that to you too.

Zhang He: ...We tied.

Xiahou Dun: WHAT!

Zhang He: thirty...

Xiahou Dun: ...I hate you.

Zhang He: I get that all the time.

Sima Yi: You still didn't win Xiahou Dun.

Xiahou Dun: I didn't lose either.

Sima Yi: ...

Zhang He: He has a point...

Sima Yi: Shut your mouth faerie boy!

Zhang He: Hey! It's The butterfly general to you!

Sima Yi: I'm higher rank than you!

Zhang He: I'm as smart as you...

Sima Yi: No your not...

Zhang He: I'm feared by Zhuge Liang and your just a petty peasant to him.

Sima Yi: I am so much smarter than Zhuge AND you!

Xiahou Dun: I get a front row seat at seeing who is better at arguing...if I had to guess, I would probably say Sima Yi would win.

Sima Yi: I hope you go to Hell.

Zhang He:gasp that...was mean...

Sima Yi: Ha!

Xiahou Dun: Ohhh...that had to hurt.

Zhang He: I was actually falling for someone like you too...

Sima Yi: Holy crap! What are you?

Zhang He: I am a graceful butterfly general! (Skips out of the room.)

Sima Yi: (sweatdrop) That last part...that was wierd.

(Xiahou Dun falls over laughing)

Xiahou Dun: I knew he was queer! And he was falling for you! (Cracks up laughing.

Sima Yi: Shut it.

(Sima Yi leaves Xiahou Dun laughing on the floor.)

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Hoorah...at last I have actually upgraded one of my stories... I was laughing the whole time I did this story. LOL


	2. Wu shows Hearts

"Hey, Da Qiao, wanna play a game of cards with us?" Sun Ce asked his wife. He was standing in front of her with a deck of cards, while Zhou Yu and Xiao Qiao were standing next to him. "Uhhh…sure. You'll have to teach me to play though, cause I don't think I know how." "Don't worry. I'll teach ya. We can play on a team." Sun Ce led her and the group over to the nearest table. They sat down and Sun Ce began to deal out the cards. Da Qiao watched as they piled up in front of her. Then, after the whole deck was passed out, Sun Ce picked up his cards.

"Now here's what you do…first, separate your cards into suits like this." Sun Ce immediately show her his hand and told her the four different suits. "Then, the player with the two of clubs gets to play first." Zhou Yu placed his card down into the middle of the table. Xiao Qiao watched him carefully because she didn't know how to play either.

"Okay, so now there is a club out on the table, now what you do is follow the suit by putting another number card of the same suit." Sun Ce had now pulled out a five of clubs. Zhou Yu pointed out a card to Xiao Qiao and she took the card and put it on the table. It was a four of clubs. Sun Ce looked at Da Qiao's hand and sees that she has a three of clubs.

"Okay, put that card down. See how the five of clubs is the highest card on the table? You need to put a lower card down." Sun Ce explained. Da Qiao pulled the card out of her hand and put it on the table. Sun Ce took the pile and put it aside him.

"Why did you take the pile?" Da Qiao questioned, tilting her head as she looked at Sun Ce.

"Well, ever since I had put down the highest card on the table, I had to take the pile of cards. That adds to my score and the highest score in the game after a few rounds, loses." Sun Ce explained. "Now, I have to play because I had the highest card on the table." Da Qiao watched as he put down a two of diamonds. Then Zhou Yu stared for a moment and then put down a five of diamonds, Xiao put down a six of diamonds and Da Qiao put down a four of diamonds.

"The game is going to be a tough one, now isn't it Ce?" Zhou Yu said sportingly. Sun Ce nodded. Zhou Yu told Xiao to pick up the pile and set it next to her.

"If you don't have a certain suit of card, then you can do something called 'throwing the card away'. This basically means that you can play any suit. If I were you and didn't have the suit of card first lain on the table, then I would put the highest card in your hand to the pile. It wouldn't count for what it normally would count for. Instead, you would have it count for zero." Sun Ce laid a ten of spades on the table after Xiao Qiao had laid a jack of spades. Then Zhou Yu set down a nine of spades and Da set down an eight of spades.

"Are you getting the hang of it Da?" Sun Ce asked. Da Qiao looked up at him and nodded. "Good. After this game, the real playing will begin. We will all play on different sides, that's when it will be every man for himself." Sun Ce said. Zhou Yu told the same thing to Xiao Qiao.

"How about after this game, we will play boys against girls." Da Qiao suggested, a smirk making its way to her mouth.

"Yeah! That would be a good idea!" Xiao Qiao blurted out.

"But then it would be beginners versus experts." Zhou Yu added. The two Qiao's looked at each other and started giggling.

"What are you two laughing at?" Sun Ce and Zhou Yu said in unison. Then Xiao Qiao turned to them.

"But weren't we taught by the experts?" Sun Ce and Zhou Yu looked at each other and then looked back at their wives.

"Sure, but you haven't developed enough to beat us. Especially Zhou Yu…he IS a strategist after all. Wouldn't you think he would be pretty hard?" Sun Ce looked at his friend. Zhou Yu smiled back at him, gesturing to him thanks.

"You two better just wait a little while before you go up against us." Zhou Yu added. They all continued the game.

After a few minutes of playing cards, the winners turned out to be Xiao Qiao and Zhou Yu. They didn't win by much though…the score went Zhou Yu and Xiao Qiao with 136 points and Sun Ce and Da Qiao with 150 points.

"Good game…jeez that was really hard." Da Qiao complained. Sun Ce remembered that he still hadn't told her the name of the game yet.

"Oh and, you should at least know what it's called. Hearts is the name of the game. So whenever you hear someone ask you if you want to plays hearts, this game is what they mean." Sun Ce said. Da Qiao looked up at him and nodded her head.

"You know, maybe we could play three against one." Xiao Qiao suddenly suggested. She glared evilly at Zhou Yu.

"That would probably be a good game then. We'll have to try that one sometime." Everyone started to laugh when suddenly a messenger ran in.

"Lord Sun Ce, Lord Sun Jian wants to see you." He informed. Sun Ce nodded and instead of only him going, the rest of them went too.

When they all got to Sun Jian's office, they bowed. "Hey guys, I think I heard you two were giving lessons…for cards?" Sun Jian asked curiously. Zhou Yu and Sun Ce looked at each other with a nervous look.

"Uhhh…it depends on if it's a good thing or not…" Sun Ce countered. He thought that his father was going to punish them for wasting time playing cards instead of thinking up strategies or training.

"Oh it's a good thing all right. I want to know how to play." Sun Ce and Zhou Yu looked at Sun Jian, eyes widened. Then Ce sighed.

"I though you were going to punish us for wasting time." He replied after the sigh.

"I am, but only after you teach me how to play." Zhou Yu's and Sun Ce's jaws dropped about three inches after hearing that they were going to be punished.

Zhou Yu straightened up and asked, " Before we teach you, what's our punishment going to be?" Sun Jian had to think for a second, then he had an idea.

"You two will have to go out to Wei and steal Sima Yi's fan. I mean, look at us, we don't have anyone who wields a fan." Sun Jian joked. Zhou Yu's temper flared and Sun Ce slowly sidestepped away from his sworn brother. Sun Jian's eyes widened as he came closer, with every raging step.

"NEVER WILL I GO AND TRY TO STEAL…wait, did you say _steal_ his fan? PERFECT! My revenge on him for still trying to out smart me!" Zhou Yu howled with laughter….evil laughter.

"Uh, Yu, I think he is smarter than you." Sun Ce spoke up with a timid voice. Zhou Yu turned to him angrily. "HOW DARE YOU SUPPORT THE ENEMY!" Zhou Yu raged; Sun Ce backed up to a wall and sat down and curled up into a ball.

"Help…" Sun Ce cried as Zhou Yu came over to him. In the background, The two Qiao's looked at each other. They laughed as they watched Zhou Yu scold Sun Ce as he sat there with his hands on his ears.

"Now we really can confirm Zhou Yu's temper tantrums." Da Qiao giggled as well as her younger sister.

"Now now Zhou Yu, I was only joking." Sun Jian sheepishly told him.

"What? You were? There goes my revenge…" Zhou Yu calmed down. Sun Ce was still sitting on the floor shaking and sucking his thumb.

"Sorry Ce, I think I've done that to him once before. Now you know not to speak of that devils name when I'm here." Sun Jian was given an evil glare from Yu.

"Eh...heheheh…yeah. I definitely know." Sun Jian laughed sheepishly as he saw his son slowly recover from Yu's rage.

"Anyway, you still have to teach me the game you all were playing." Sun Jian quickly changed the subject. This revived Sun Ce fully as he ran over to his friends side.

"When would you like us to teach you, Lord Sun Jian?" Zhou Yu questioned.

"Right now." Sun Jian said enthusiastically. Zhou Yu and Sun Ce nodded. They passed out the deck, with the two Qiao's watching, and began the lesson on Hearts.

The End


End file.
